i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
