my phone needs a breathalizer
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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