saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Are my feet made of real feet?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
