one two three fourrrrnication!
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
