therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
This baby is an asshole
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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