So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
