I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
