i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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