I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Randomize
