Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
