We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
jump out the window naked night went bad
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