I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
