i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
