I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize