You just made me feel so damn special
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
