Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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