i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
