I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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