I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize