We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
