I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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