you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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