I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
