I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize