his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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