I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
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