if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
