Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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