Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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