I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
