He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
