remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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