If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
