I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Success! We fucked roommates!
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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