I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
