My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
