i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
