yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
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