She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
