no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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