I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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