last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
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