ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
