She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
