Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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