Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
you will always have a special place in my vag
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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