I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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