A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
