How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
