My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
