I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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