me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
