it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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