Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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