For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
