I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
