So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
He has the fingertips of a God
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