I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
They are going to name an STD after you.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
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