I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
