The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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