it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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