my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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