I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Found your dick twin last night
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
